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Authenticity – a daily poem

maart 9, 2020 - Yvonne Jeucken

Monday morning, slowly waking up without truly awakening.

I do remember what’s true to me, in my mind

– yet it’s not the same as sensing it

Although I make a conscious choice for today, I notice it stays briefly, it’s quickly evaporating

The clock makes marionettes of us

 

Within one hour, my commitment to myself seems to be gone.

Habits immediately seem to be stronger and I succumb to them, unconsciously obedient. Indecisive, hesitant, confused, thinking too much

Very gradually and slowly I am losing 

my energy

 

Where’s the longing? I want to be there

I want to feel alive

The attachment of ‘wanting’; it’s a ‘have to have it’

Until suddenly there is this very subtle awareness that 

I’m just telling myself I’m losing energy 

lost in thoughts and doubts and lack of movement 

I am just telling myself I don’t manage to be truly awake and fully alive, in this world of thousands expectations, small and large 

 

Without any effort 

Someone inside took a small step back

And there it was: spaciousness 

No matter how small, I felt a tiny bit of life in me again

Like a vacuum jar 

just needs the slightest of air

Now I can stop thinking about my longings: I can sense them

Smell, taste, feel them

 

Air, breath, space, relief

Life energy was still there, never gone

Like shy wild animals, full of vulnerable strength, life

 

Yet, really sensing it I notice it’s a place a lot more vulnerable

A place of new challenges 

Can I allow my vulnerable fears and longings and

be with it, be tender with it

without withdrawing?

Do I have the courage to long for something that does not seem to be there now?

 

Authenticity is freedom, choice, aliveness

The courage to stand for what’s truly important

And it’s vulnerable 

 

That’s what I tell myself

 

Whenever I am brave enough to sense and hold my fears

Holding my longings with passion yet freely, no strings attached,

I feel trust in the true life in me, always there, moving, being, dancing, flying, crying, laughing, changing, 

living

 

March 2020, Yvonne Jeucken

Met geweldloze communicatie ontwikkelde ik de moed om authentiek te reageren op de ander, vanuit mijn eigen waarden. Met dank aan Marshall Rosenberg, Gina Lawrie, Robert Gonzales. "If something is that important, why not choose it?"

Voor contact, vragen, inschrijving training, mail naar info@hartigetaal.nl

 

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